Q: Dear Connie: I received an e-mail from a co-worker and It sounded like she was angry.
How do I know if she is upset with my work?
A: Dear E-mailer:
E-mails are often misunderstood because we miss the communication keys we get when we are talking to someone on the phone or face to face. The only way you will really know if your coworker is upset with your work is to ask her. When we communicate with other people we use our non-verbal skills to add expression and to convey the meaning of our words. SkillPath (premier provider of business training in the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and the UK.) reports that 7% of our communication is the actual words we speak and 93% of our communication is non-verbal. Our nonverbal communication is made up of how we stand, the expression on our face, our eye contact, and how we deliver the words that we speak through the tone, pitch, and the volume of our voice. When you communicate through e-mail you are only using 7% of your communication skills. We humans are so good at filling in the blanks in life. When we receive an e-mail message asking for work or pointing out a problem, we may start to assume the person is upset, angry or implying a shortcoming on our part. Do not respond to an e-mail in anger. If you have a question about the meaning of a message a person sent to you, talk to the person face to face or by phone. You will then be able to see and hear the non-verbal cues that are missing from e-mail messages. While ending with a smiley face (an emoticon) is an acceptable way at most companies to communicate between co-workers and in your department, it is not appropriate to add emoticons to business e-mails outside your department.
Here are a few tips for
sending business e-mails:
• Keep your e-mails short and to the point
• Do not use abbreviations, such as “U” for the word you
• Remember to write the most important information at the beginning of the e-mail because many people only read about the first three lines of an e-mail
• If you are upset about something at work, do not send an e-mail message. Face to face communication is preferred
• Remember that all e-mail messages can be Forwarded
Leave the funny, colorful emoticons for your personal e-mail communication which you, as a good worker, would not be sending from your work computer Technology has given us some great tools to use to speed up our communications. Be sure you are using them to express the message you intend to convey.
Connie Humphreys is a Senior Career Coach with Nashville Career Advancement Center serving Davidson County.
Funded in part by the Tennessee Department of Labor and Workforce Development. The Career Center is an equal opportunity employer/program. Auxiliary aids and services will be provided upon request to persons with disabilities | 
